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#RedCheeks is India’s new sedition; scores booked

#RedCheeks is India’s new sedition; scores booked
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A day after an Indian Gau Rakhak (cow vigilante), who has also served in Indian National Army while speaking on a television show, asked how despite lockdown and shut business establishments Kashmiri people don’t die of malnutrition and manage to stay health with ‘red cheeks’. NIA has, overnight, established that the majority of red-cheeks in Kashmir have been maintained under the sponsorship of Pakistan.

“This appearance (beautiful red cheeks) doesn’t conform to the food India has been supplying to Kashmir,” NIA report reads, “neither can Kashmir’s land produce any such diet.”

Meanwhile, RSS has pitched for booking all the red-cheeked Kashmiris under the charges of sedition.

“These traitors who refuse to look like us (Indians) and take pleasure and pride in resembling Pakistanis should be thrown behind the bars,” said apparently envious RSS spokesman, Kal-Watul.

When asked why red-cheeks suddenly became an issue, an RSS office-bearer, wishing anonymity said, “Our brave soldier has made an unparalleled observation. All those Kashmiris who look healthy and beautiful should be immediately arrested because they are apparently been fed by Pakistan. There has also been no case of mal-nutrition, farmer suicide in Kashmir. Pakistan is feeding them enough and threatening the integrity of our country.”

The NIA report further reads: “A special investigation team has been able to find that the red cheeks are only caused due to a special kind of supplement known as ‘Jazba-e-Aazadi’ which is manufactured in Pakistan and is being sent to Kashmir through various illegal channels.”

Acting on the report, Indian law enforcement agencies along with J&K police have started a hunt to nab all the red-cheeked people in Kashmir. Scores have been booked under sedition charges.

Meanwhile, in a press statement, APHC has condemned NIA reports and subsequent crackdown on beautiful looking people. APHC has also called for a shutdown on Monday against the move.

(This is a piece of fiction).

Disclaimer: Views expressed are exclusively personal and do not necessarily reflect the position of Oracle Opinions.

 

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