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A Cricketer’s Journey Of Broken Trust !

A Cricketer’s Journey Of Broken Trust !
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“To live without you is death to me,

  My Love! But some call it life” 


He always began his innings with the intention to take his side home, when he used to come all guns blazing against the opponent, he was the team’s trust, yet he ever didn’t knew that this trust in the field of love will be shattered with the words “I can’t trust you”, by the girl whose beauty he described, just like the appearance to a sunset on the west coast. It all began in the spring of 2013, just a day shot of the ending of that serene month of April, when a young lad, cricketer by heart was taken to a new world by the fascinating beauty of a girl whose memories now haunt, make him restless. A Cricketer who knew nothing except the love for his Kit and the subject of Mathematics just started wandering in deep thoughts about the mingling of his soul with a girl whom he loved with zeal and zest. The boy going down and deep in those thoughts once, finally agreed to the call of his heart regarding the mingling of his soul with the beloved. He still remembers that sleepless, exciting night when he was even counting those seconds just to make an arrival at the college next day and just vocalize his heart out, vocalize those feelings which he had just buried deep into the decision making body-the heart. But he never knew what will unfold after months, what is going to happen as he was just an innocent teenager who never knew what this gamble “The Love” has done to countless. The boy loved her so truly that once he had carved the 2 Alphabets (MI)   on one of the prized commodity for which he got rebutted at home too.  As the call was put forth before the beloved, there was hesitance from her side just like the two runners between the wickets. Yet the boy believed he will manage to get to the other side and complete his run and that happened too. The boy finally got that nod from her, but he yet didn’t knew whether it was from the heart or just a lip-service to keep him in. As the days passed the boy had to ultimately bid an adieu to his institution, to the place that gave him what his heart had ordered. He still remembers those lines penned by her on those pages “Our relation is not lyk rain dat cumes and goes back again bt lyk air- not visible bt always in touch” he just keeps these lines on that paper next to him when he goes to his bed with the heart-ache and those tears rolling down his cheeks. Months passed the boy was continuing with his full faithfulness yet he wasn’t sure whether she is holding him in her heart or done with him. The reason was the communication gap.

Then came the summer of 2014, which the boy can hardy forget till he will be carried on the four shoulders, the boy remembers how the game played by the trio changed the course of his life.  He remembers those two girls and the unfaithful lad whom he would hardly forget. The game they played evolved consequences it snapped the ties between the two souls. He till date doesn’t know why that game was played.  This was heart-wrenching for the cricketer, for the man who loved the girl from the core of his heart. He had that faith in her that she won’t ever want to hurt him, she won’t ever betray him. He continued on his side, he tried every means just to again mingle with her but all in vain. Then a word was passed by someone to the boy that you will hear her voice,   for which he longs and longs to through his heart to her feet, the hopes were high. Yet it was the 2nd last day of that faithful, serene month of April and he heard her. The call was answered, when he put forth his plea it was again rejected in her court. The dreams were shattered. Everything perished. He kept on hoping but then something unusual happened which took many by surprise. It was the season of autumn, his favourite one. He unknowingly dedicated himself to a new one from the heart of the city. Though it didn’t last for over a week, the reason was his heart was still stranded back with the girl who once took her to a new world and now raised him to the ground. His screams, wails were unheard. At this point his health began to deteriorate. There was no control over his falling health. The reason was just the love for her. The remedy was the girl with those alluring eyes.  As he was living with his broken heart the hopes were high with the arrival of the new year-2016. It was the announcement of his last school result. He wanted to end his school life on a high note. The results were announced and the congratulation poured in from the beloved. And he was over the moon. He hoped for a reunion for which he was willing to do anything. He tried hard and ultimately it was the last week of the first month of January when on a bone chilling day he went out there bending on his knees in the heart of the city and managed to break the ice and finally both were back on track. Months passed and happiness was all-around.  He celebrated the reunion with full zeal. He went onto those trips in the shikaras, went to those beautiful Mughal gardens which are the symbols of love and peace. He remembers those places where they shared their happiest moments when they used to host each other for lunch. Things were going right. Everything was on right track. The chats, the talks were going will full pace. But a sad news poured for the cricketer when the holy month concluded that he had lost a family member. Condolences poured in from every corner, she too was among the ones who stood by her when the demise of the lad’s dear one occurred. And just 2 days passed the summer of turbulence began, communication was snapped, the vale was mourning the demise of its loved one. There was no communication between the two souls. And when finally the cricketer managed to hear her voice again after a long gap, the talk was quite different. The beloved called for the disconnection and when the reason was asked she just replied that family challenges are pouring in. I can’t continue. The boy was once again shattered, he was confused. He was lost in the deep thoughts not knowing whether the trio- 2 girls and the unfaithful lad had once again back-stabbed her, whether they have once again cheated her and forced her to end it all. The bright cricketer made frequent pleas to the beloved for continuing and the reply was always of despair. As the beloved was itching closer to her test, the boy thought just to give her a ring on each day when she had to appear in the test and wish her best of luck. The respond wasn’t too good, but somehow it satisfied that broken heart of the lad. Then came the moment which the boy still remembers and always narrates with tears in eyes that once he called her and wished her best of luck, the respond was bad it seemed as if she didn’t  wanted to hear him anymore now, seemed as if she didn’t want him in her life. The boy had sleepless nights, heart-aches yet he didn’t stop trying to get her back. Hoping for a reunion again the boy finally managed to talk to her and asked her about the disconnection again: The reason given was the “Broken Trust”, that you have told everything to someone who has told it to others and when the boy was completely confused, he hadn’t ever uttered the story to someone, yet the 2 girls again chipped in and furnished a recording. Everything got over, the boy tried his everything yet the beloved seemed unfaithful. Whenever the boy wishes to talk to her, she somehow declines the offer by snapping the connection to his number and it hurts the cricketer more and more. When the questions regarding it are asked, she rebuts him by saying “I can’t restrict ua imagination. ..”. She talks as if she never knew him, as if she hadn’t ever promised to stand by him every time. The unfaithfulness here comes to fore as he was once told by her not to worry as she will be always there for him. Those broken promises, her way of texting “I luv u more than anything….evn more than my life” and then squeezing her heart with the words “I can’t trust you” make him restless, wrench his heart and nothing else. He believes that either it’s the trio playing a game with him again or she was unfaithful to him from the beginning or may be her heart didn’t wanted a lad like the cricketer and the innocent boy who could have sacrificed everything for her, who could have carved over the thorns or crossed the river of fire for her. He was ready to bear everything for her. He may survive but the unhealed wounds will always remind him of her unfaithfulness, of those broken promises and those heart-wrenching words “Mein tum pe bharosa nahi kar sakhti” which echo his ears and he will always remember them till he is furnished for the final bath of his life and carried to the final abode!

Author hails from Anantnag, Jammu and Kashmir and is currently studying in class 12th. He can be reached at

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