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The Smiling Goodbye!!!- A love Story

The Smiling Goodbye!!!- A love Story
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Salman Jeelani*

“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes, for those
who love with heart and soul, there is no such thing as separation.” ~Rumi

In the moonlit night, away from the holy land, penning down this, not knowing whether the plea will reach her, whether it will touch her lifeline and the decision making “Heart” whether somehow there will be a positive effect of that final smiling goodbye. A shy, unknown boy miles away from his home to a place where everyone on their way to achieve their goals in their respective fields and the boy too but not in the field of a girl whom he believed was beyond description. The boy lost in the stars, in those dark nights just to win an unknown special. He stays with the final call of the heart i.e the platonic love for her. As the lad progressed in his field, he found that someone special, with every quality, nothing lacking in her, neither the perfection touched his heart nor her beauty but something which he can’t vocalize, which he can’t express, which his heart can’t answer, which he believed no one else could have perceived in her-the special. Simply he wants to win her. The days progressed and within a short span he wanted to win her but he found it hard , the shyness added more to it, but he didn’t lose his hope, even he hadn’t that courage to go out there and do what the heart had ordered. He finds it hard to express but each second grabs his heart and makes him restless. In these tough times, no closer one was so close enough to the lad just to get that (The Special) closer to him, so that he could again just look at that dazzling soul and lower his gaze. His mad heart wants to get squeezed in her absolute beauty. That randomness, the way of her approaching, that melody voice that acts as a soother to the boy’s mad heart just like the rain brings a relief to the desert. The beauty hasn’t taken the breath of the lad rather the soul, the pilgrim one, that takes him up to the 7 skies whenever he gets a glimpse of her, whether once it was a face to face or now in the dreams which he doesn’t get rid off, he gets drenched in tears whenever he remembers her, though she hasn’t been infidel to him. He remembers her at each time, be it in the sujood or somewhere else. Then he remembers the couplet of one of the favourite: “Mein Khuda Ki Nazro Mein Bhi Gunehgaar Hota Hu Aye Faraz, K Jab Sajdu Mein Bhi Mujhe Woh Shakhs Yaad Aata Hai”.

There are times when he stares at those stars hoping to win her one day. But he still is lost in a query- “Will she ever be his?” That doesn’t make a difference, that doesn’t make him sad, rather that makes him just, just to think of her more. And he wants this feeling to turn into a new happy beginning.

Nothing in the world can occupy her place now in his heart, whether the lad will die or will remain alive, whether she will be miles away from him. It won’t stop the boy from loving her. He won’t hesitate to bend on his knees and make pleas to get her. Nothing in the world can take off the final scene of that ever best smile from the mind’s eye of the boy. In the words of the world’s famous scientist Albert Einstein which he wrote to his beloved in the last letter “You are the locus of my Heart, The origin of my graph, The intersection of you and me is empty, Your union to me is true, Without you my set of anions are incomplete, I want to be the element that completes your set, I am here in your Euclidean space, Please be my singularity”. He too feels that this may be the first and the last but the hope doesn’t let him down. He hopes for the reply which will ease the pain of his heart and may comfort him, he hopes for a green signal that could sooth his bruised soul, though it isn’t a cakewalk for him.

Even the golden words in the most mighty book of the world can’t describe her for him. There are no words to express what he is undergoing, it’s not the battle of love rather it’s the battle of his life for him which hardly anyone can understand which he wants to win with hook or crook. He wants to win her even if he has to undergo the worse in his life. Challenging moments are in, no matter what may come, he will continue on his side with full faithfulness. In the hour of dilemma, he is restless just to have her glimpse, just to see that panoramic view for which his heart has stopped to beat. The shyness has vanished in the thin air as there hardly will be a face to face contact now. That eye to eye contact for a few cracks in one of the test jerked his soul. It was the moment when lad’s shyness forced him to down his eye from that dazzling soul. The smile on those stairs in the beginning of the Autumn, her way of asking about the injury are few memorable moments from that splendid journey which ended with that perfect adieu, that he hardly will forget till he breaths his last. That’s not a moment when the lad doesn’t remember him, he is ready to bear everything for that “Special”. He is desperate and is eager to win her, even if he has to crawl over the thorns or cross the river of fire. Now the only thing he wants is the union of the souls, for which he is ready to do anything no matter what may come and only he hopes for that nod. He hopes for the union if not here but there where he is fully sure that their souls will meet without any hindrance, where he won’t cry to get her, where he feels that if his heart will be squeezed he would have her. What makes him restless is that final smiling adieu for which he longs to throw his heart to her feet and wants the time to turn back to that fateful moment of “The Smiling Goodbye”!

*Author hails from Anantnag, Jammu and Kashmir and is currently studying in class 12th. He can be reached at salmanbhat89@gmail.com

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